Pregnancy is physically difficult but it is hands-down 1,000 times easier than adoption. Becoming a parent through adoption is one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I met my sons through pictures on January 6 of this year and I've watched them grow older through monthly picture updates. They've been my (legal) sons for over 6 months and I can't see them, hold them, or kiss them. 10 months have passed and they are still not in our arms.
I know God is sustaining us and them as His hand is continuing to carry out this adoption. He has provided the $14,000 that we needed through interest free adoption loans that we just got, which was a HUGE prayer that was answered. He is still working and I have to remind myself that He is faithful and I must continue to be faithful. (1 Corinthians 1:9) It's really hard when it seems that there is no end in sight. We don't have a timeframe anymore because we don't know when all of this is going to clear up with the government.
As God has taught me more about Himself through adoption (and life in general) I know He is sovereign over everything and in those things there is always something I can learn. So, lately I have tried to not focus on what I perceive as negative things and instead look at the situation/events as "what is God trying to teach me about Himself" or "how can this make me become more like Christ." I would much rather sulk and complain to God about how things aren't going my way but I know those aren't His desires and they shouldn't be mine either. I don't believe that I should pray for things to happen my way. I believe that He desires us to pray so we can become more like Him. I'm still learning what that looks like. Adoption has forced Justin and I to rely on Him because we knew He was the only way we could financially and emotionally make it through certain periods of that time.
So you can continue to pray that Justin and I will use this "wait" time purposefully. That we will seek how God is wanting to use us during this time. You can pray that we don't mindlessly walk through the waiting period when He is trying to do something in us and with us. And continue to pray for our sons. In one remote orphanage in the Congo over half the children there died this past week due to dysentry...something that would never be an issue for children in the US. Death is very real there for children...for people. They don't have clean water, clean facilities, and many don't have access to good food. Pray that God will keep our sons safe and healthy and that He will work in hearts of the Congolese government so that our sons and many other sons and daughters can come home to their families.
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen"
Canaan (3) is in the superman pj shirt that we sent him
Neema (almost 2) is in the orange shirt.
Today is 4 weeks from Carson's due date. Justin will be there for the delivery, which is definitely an answered prayer as well. November 16 is quickly approaching. I so wish Carson's big brothers were here to welcome her into the world!