Thursday, July 18, 2013

God's Timing is Always Better

I haven't posted any updates in a while because I wanted to be careful about how much we reveal about our adoption. If you're not in the adoption world it's probably hard to understand why we have to be careful about what we say and how much we say, especially over social media. But to bring you up to date on the boys we are still waiting. I've had several people ask, "do you have any updates?" We are in the last stages of this adoption and we really won't know/have any more updates until they tell us (Justin) that it's time to travel to get the boys. It feels like this journey is taking forever but we could not have chosen a better agency. If you are interested in adopting from the DRC or Niger (new program) you definitely need to contact the agency we're using! They are completely ethical and I could not ask for a better group of people to take care of our adoption. 

This extra time is also allowing us to get ready for all of the changes coming and the rest of the money that's due. We're still not sure where the $12,000 or so is going to come from but we trust that God already has it planned and in His timing He will reveal it to us, whether it's a fundraiser or a loan. God obviously doesn't think like I do or I would have a million dollars sitting in the bank to pay for the rest of this adoption as well as thousands of other families' adoptions. He has never failed us and I know these boys will be home. I can't wait to see how He's going to make it happen. His timing has been in place the whole time and no matter how much I've worried or not worried God has been (and will continue to be) sovereign over it all.

Beginning our family has been both frustrating, exciting, and testing. We knew we would adopt and when we had difficulty getting pregnant we knew we wanted to start our family through adoption first. It just seemed like a no brainer since we were going to adopt anyway. I am now soooooo thankful that God did not allow us to get pregnant when I wanted to get pregnant. I know that we would not be adopting these two particular little boys if I had gotten pregnant in my timing. How wonderful are His plans for us. I spent much time crying over having our adoption pushed back because of US Embassy changes and crying over trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years. Thankfully God doesn't work the way I want Him to.  Justin always reminds me of one of John Piper's quotes, "God isn't as interested in our happiness as much as he's interested in our holiness." Justin always speaks truths to me when I need it. Sometimes we don't understand until later why He does what He does. And truthfully there are some things we may never understand and we must be ok with that because we hold to the fact that He is God and we are not. I have come to realize that in all things we face God desires that we give him glory in every moment of it. He allows things in our lives for some reason, whether it is to shape us, reveal more of Himself to us, or do even greater things that we are not even aware of. 

With that said, God is continually teaching me about Himself through this journey and I'm convinced that I know more about Him and His character because of this whole process both in adoption and pregnancy. It's been more than incredibly amazing to experience parenthood through adoption and pregnancy at the same time! The waiting for both have been extremely hard but the waiting and longing for these boys have by far been the most difficult. Knowing that my children with my last name are sitting in a foster home across the world is tough. I know Carson is safe inside my belly. I know she's getting the nutrition she needs. I've had to trust God in a completely different way when it comes to my boys because they are truly in His hands. God is continuing to sustain the boys and us as we wait. So in the waiting we will chose to be actively waiting, praying and watching for what God is doing and what He wants to teach us in the most difficult times. 

For those of you who are praying for us you can specifically pray:
-The investigation (on the boys) will go smoothly and quickly.
-We will be able to pay for the remainder of the adoption.
-God will be preparing Canaan and Neema's heart for the huge change that is about to take place and they will be able to bond with Justin when he travels to DRC.
-We will be at piece with God's timing and He will "ready" us for the changes that will take place in our home (financially, spiritually, and physically).


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