Saturday, December 28, 2013

Stuck

2013 has been the best and worst year I think Justin and I have faced since we've been married. We thought everything was coming to completion…little did we know it would happen at the same time. 

I haven't updated our blog in a while so I will catch everyone up to date in case you have just come across our page. Justin and I had tried to get pregnant for over 2 years. We always knew we wanted to adopt so in September (2012) we went ahead and started the adoption process and decided we would focus on a biological child later. I stopped taking fertility meds and we began filling out adoption paperwork. In November of last year (2012) we finally got our home study completed and signed the contract with our agency to adopt from the Democratic Republic of Congo, Africa. At that time we also decided to go ahead and adopt two children instead of one. Sunday, January 6th, 2013 was a day that I will never forget. Anyone in the adoption world knows you become obsessive about checking email. That morning I woke up and the first thing I did was check my email. In my inbox was a beautiful picture of a one year old boy sitting on the ground in a dirty white onesie that hung off of his small frame. We of course said "yes" to that little boy who is our son, Neema. We went to church and tried to contain the excitement. After we came home from church there was another email with our oldest son's photo. I immediately fell in love with the sad, 2 year old boy in the photo. His eyes were downcast and he seemed unsure. I knew Canaan was meant to be our son. Fast forward to March. We were in the midst of fundraisers and piles of adoption paperwork. One morning before work I randomly took a pregnancy test and for the first time in my life it read positive. An ultrasound later confirmed we were having a little girl who would be due in November. We were ecstatic and terrified to say the least.

So, as we journeyed through pregnancy and adoption God has stretched us and taught us more than we thought possible. He has miraculously provided large amounts of money right when they were due for adoption. He has been our stronghold as our adoption process has faced uncertain roads. We anticipated getting the boys this past summer and the investigation process changed and pushed back our adoption again. Disheartened, we trusted that all of this was in God's plan. Frustration after frustration has occurred, all of it out of our hands. Finally, in November, it was time to travel. I was due November 16th and Justin and his father had plane tickets booked for November 19th. Justin and I both wanted a natural pregnancy and did not want to be induced. November 16th came and went. So did the 17th, 18th, 19th… Justin and his dad, Tim, boarded the plane on November 19th which was the saddest and happiest day of my life. Knowing my husband would miss his daughter's birth and I would have to go through natural labor without him filled my emotions to the brim, but we still rejoiced knowing that our sons were finally coming home. I ended up having to be induced and Carson Diane Carroll was born on November 25th.  Come to find out, I probably would have never went into labor on my own due to the excessive amount of amniotic fluid I had (it kept the contractions from dilating my cervix). Thankfully, Justin was able to watch the birth via FaceTime on our phones. 

We anticipated that he would be there a week and a half, maybe 2 weeks. Things were moving smoothly in Africa at the time, which rarely happens.  As soon as Justin arrived in DRC he was able to be united with our sons. I was able to FaceTime the first time he met our youngest son, Neema. He looked unsure of what was happening but he didn't cry. He went right into Justin's arms. The boys adjusted quickly to Justin and their papaw. Neema's outgoing personality was quickly evident as he ran around the room squealing and calling out for his papa. Canaan took more time. He has been in an orphanage his entire life whereas Neema was in foster care. It was apparent they had received very different care. Canaan was quiet and reserved. He slowly came around later in the week and now he is like a completely different child. The pictures of the little boy without a smile now smiles from ear to ear and laughs all day long. Who knew this little guy had the cutest dimples! Evidence of what love and family can do for a child.

When Justin arrived in Africa the DGM (African Immigrations) refused to take our paperwork. The boys can not leave the country without an exit letter and the DGM processes that piece of paper. This came as a surprise because the DGM told us (indirectly) that they would let adoptive children out of the country who had a certain document by September 25th. Well, we had that document and we were on the DGM's list to get out of the country.  Finally, the Wednesday after Carson's delivery the African government accepted our paperwork!  An answered prayer that we had been waiting 2 weeks for. After that we waited for a particular man to sign the paper and Justin could leave with the boys. Later that same week Justin informed me that the man who signs the paper would be out of the office for at least 9 days. Heartbreaking to say the least. I was pretty weepy for the following days.

So here we are at 6 weeks. 6 weeks and the man is still refusing to sign our papers and many other families' papers.  Our daughter's birth has came and gone, so have the first 5 weeks of her life. Thanksgiving and Christmas have came and gone too and my husband still sits in Africa with our sons with no hope of getting them out. The DGM has basically said they refuse to issue exit letters to adoptive families. The United States Embassy in the Democratic Republic of Congo have been little to no help to my husband. There was an alternative plan to get our sons home but that has failed too. Our agency has basically told us to exhaust any other ideas that we have to try to get our sons home (ethically and legally of course). The longer Justin stays, the more expensive it becomes and of course neither one of us are working at the moment. We know all of this is a part of God's plan and we are clinging to the fact that He is sovereign, but it is hard. It is hard being without my husband. It's hard for him to miss my daughter's birth and first month and a half of life. He longs to hold her and watch her grow. It's hard for me to look into my sons' bedroom and know they aren't there. 

I'm not sure how things are going to play out but we are taking matters into our own hands. We are attempting to make our story known. We have sent letters to our senators, state representatives, and congressmen. We need the United States to push the U.S. Embassy in Kinshasa (DRC) to pressure the DGM and fight for us. The U.S. Embassy has pretty much done nothing and we need them to take a stand for us and the other families who are stuck in the country with my husband. If you want to help please write, call, or email anyone you know who can help us. Send it to your state representative, the governor, the newspaper, news stations, radio stations, or anyone else you know that might could help. If you have any questions or you want a copy of the letter that I have sent to them please contact me. This is our last chance to get my husband and my sons out of the country. All of our paperwork and fees have been paid. These boys have legally been our sons since March and we can't get them home without the exit letter signed.

We will NOT leave our sons as orphans

28 comments:

  1. I, too, am an international adoptive mother (Russia, 2007) and know all too well the roller coaster ride you are currently on. I am also the mother of our bio child (2012), and know the joys and trials of bringing a new baby into the world and your home. I could not imagine having to do either without my spouse by my side, as you are both currently having to do! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family (ALL 5 OF YOU!) as you follow the path that has been laid for you. During our adoption journey, it seemed like door after door would be closed in our face, but God always opened a window and his mercy would flood in! Keep holding on to His hand.....

    ~Michelle

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  2. I have two children, one adopted & one biological. I too had challenges getting to my daughter & getting her home from Russia, but God in His faithfulness worked it out for us. I pray the path to bringing your boys home is cleared soon.

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  3. Have you spoken to the lawyer that helped "Bring Home the Bac Lieu 16", the 16 adopted children stuck in an orphanage in Vietnam? Her practice is dedicated to helping children who are stuck. Her contact info is below. I hope she can help your family.
    The Law Offices of Kelly Tillotson Ensslin, PLLC
    16 N. Boylan Avenue
    Raleigh, NC 27603
    Email: kelly@ktelaw.com
    Phone: 919-710-8199
    Fax: 877-645-7550
    Cell: 919-444-9034

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  4. Praying God will touch the person who needs to sign the papers. God help this couple as they continue on this journey. Wrap your arms of love around them. Protect them and help them get their sons home in America. Amen.

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  5. Have you contacted your US congressman and senators? Try calling (email will take forever) the in-state office closest to you. One of the primary purposes of your congressional representative's office is to help their constituents navigate situations like this. Praying your family of five will be united soon!

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  6. My heart breaks for you and your family this morning. I have shared your story with others in hopes that they too will take up arms and fight for your precious family. My family starts today with prayer. You will be covered in it today. I will ask my church to pray for you as well. I know part of your heart for I too have a child in another country. She is over 7,000 miles away. My heart aches for her. And no, we won't leave her as an orphan either. Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone for our God is the God of the impossible. And He too does not leave us as orphans. Much love and God's blessings to you and your family today and always.

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  7. I had a crazy Haitian adoption and Rhonda at Bob Corkers office was an amazing help. I also used a phenomenal immigration attorney. Email me if you would like her info. marks.molly@gmail.com. Good luck. I'm praying!

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  8. Praying that both countries will work together to bring these precious boys home! Our daughter was "stuck" for months as well. We used Kelly (mentioned above) and she was an answered prayer and assisted in bringing our daughter home.

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  9. I am so sorry. I hope you are all together soon. :( Praying.

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  10. Praying for you all and I shared your story with K-Love.com as well and they are praying too.

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  11. I am praying for you and all the precious children and adoptive parents! Please send me a copy of the letter to contact leaders. Send to: Karen McClure klm242@georgetown.edu

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  12. Fellow MO AP that will be praying for you specifically. We adopted from the Congo as well. My heart is just so burdened for everyone that is stuck in this situation.

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  13. Alana and Justin, I am so sorry you are going through this. I cannot imagine the pain and fear and worry that you are filled with, but we will be praying for you. We had a similar start of the story back in 2007. We tried to get pregnant for several years and since we knew we were going to eventually adopt anyway, we decided it was time. Two months later we found out we were pregnant and we now have two amazing 6 year olds who are best friends. I have faith your family will all be reunited and I pray it will be soon. During our process Guatemala shut down due to their unwillingness to comply with the Hague agreement. We got our paperwork that would grandfather us in to the process just days before the deadline, though we were still concerned that what is happening to you would happen to us. I realize that this is NOTHING compared to what you are going through, but please know that there are people the world over who are praying for you. I will be sharing your story to help word get out and prayers going.

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  14. I truly believe in the power of prayer and know that God is watching over this process. He does love all the little children of the world and knows your hearts. He sees the tears and burden that you carry and I know that He will open the doors. There is a way and I know you will find that path with all the love from around the world. Love and support!

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  15. In Gods word it says he will not give us more than we can bare, it also says to bring it to his rememberance. I pray with that in
    mind. Having Faith that God is not a man that could lie. It is written whatso ever you ask in my name it shall be done. (Not might be done ) IT SHALL BE DONE. Dear Lord Jesus I ask you to intervene into this situation. You said with you all things are possible. As an adopted child of God I ask you my father to help this family be united all together under one roof in their safe haven of their home. Let this person who is causing such turmoil for this family and many others have compassion and feel the touch from above. Lord we ask you to do as your word promises us we ask that you bring this father and two sons home safely in the name if Jesus Christ I pray.

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  16. You have been in our prayers each and every day. Our hearts are burdened for you. May God move this mountain. We are specifically praying as to how we can help. We too have a little boy in the DRC, but haven't gotten his U. S. visa yet. I cannot imagine the ache of your hearts. May God give you rest and strength and peace for this battle.

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  17. Alana, I send you a message via facebook regarding a couple of lives and works in Kinshasa. They are more than happy to assist in any way they can. When I went to send the message, it said it would be in your "other" folder in your inbox. I think it is to the right of the normal one. I had tried to post this a couple of times, but wasn't able to, so hope it comes through. Lots of prayers for you and your sweet family.

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  18. I am passing your blog along to everyone I know. Can you send me a copy of your letter to tygrayeli@gmail.com and I will attach it when I speak with our TN Senators office. Prayers to you!

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  19. Alana, my name is Kiley Crossland I am a writer with World Magazine (www.worldmag.com). I wrote a story about your situation and our web editor needs a picture to post along with it. Would you be willing to email me a few that we could use? I would be so thankful! My email address is kiley.crossland@gmail.com. Thank you! -Kiley

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  20. Did you catch the last nights 48 hours? On all the corruption/trafficking in adoptions from DRC? That the State Department has published warnings about going back to 2011?? 5+ of which were published in 2013 alone?? Advising you of ALL the problems that you are now facing because you're perfectly happy to pay upwards of $35k per possibly trafficked Congolese kid?? That are *shock* all the problems you were warned about??


    Buying humans is horrible. Buying them because you claim that Jesus told you to is a million times worse!!!

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    1. Kiki, The issues in and surrounding adoption are complex and there is no easy solution. I encourage you to be careful in your judgement of those who adopt. The situations on 48 hours and those like it are horrifying absolutely and should be dealt with appropriately so that things like that do not happen to children. There are corrupt agencies, corrupt lawyers, yes. But, many, if not most agencies are diligent to ensure that the children they refer for adoption are not trafficked but true orphans where adoption is their only option. Human trafficking should not be tolerated in any way, shape or form. But, not all adoptions thankfully are a result of that horrific horrific wrong. There are many check points in the process. Many. We need to all be part of the solution. Adoption is but one solution for the millions of orphans who do not have other options. I do not believe any child should suffer wrong. So for all the children who are not trafficked, who are legitimate orphans and have no other option, they should not grow up in institutions and I am thankful there are families who are willing to sacrifice financially to invite them into their homes as their family.

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    2. This is an excellent read addressing many of the things you brought up in your comment, Kiki.

      http://www.christianalliancefororphans.org/childcatchers/

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  21. This is truly an awful news. Heartbreaking. But I am glad to know of your determination to adopt these two kids and not to leave them orphans. I hope the papers have all been signed and released, and that your husband and your sons are now with you. Would love to see updates! :)

    Dean Glover @ AdoptionNetwork

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  22. If you wish to discuss back and forth and argue about child trafficking and adoption please do it elsewhere. This blog is to share our adoption journey, not to provide a discussion forum. I understand that everyone does not view adoption the way we do and I respect that but I created this blog so that our friends and family who support our adoption can follow our journey. If negative comments continue to be made I will delete them because our adoption is already complete and it doesn't change the decision we have already made.

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  23. I believe a helpful contact in the DRC would be Glenn and Esther Vantieghem . They are with Christ's Hope in Kinshasa DRC. You can contact them on Facebook or on their blog Glennesther.com. Blessings - to you , our prayers are with you!

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  24. What is the current status? I just found your blog. Are your husband and sons home yet? I will keep you in my prayers. Blessings.

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